Two years ago on this date, I woke up with a major hang over. It was my first year living at the dorms, and we partied hard the night before in Waikiki for Halloween. On that morning I woke up in my bed, recovering from the previous black out. I saw it was really early in the morning, and played back my voice mail of my missed call from my mom. In the message she said my uncle Arnel passed away...
I thought I was dreaming...just a couple hours before I was throwing up and saying out loud "I'm going to die"...and a couple hours later I wake up to hear that someone who was close to me actually died...I was so shocked... and questioned why?...and thought how it was crazy how I just seen him a couple months before I moved...
Before I moved to Hawaii, my auntie Jean and uncle Arnel took me out for dinner at Sizzler's. During dinner we were exchanging our last words with each other. My auntie was saying how she was going to miss me, while my uncle laughed and said "Don't worry she will be back in less then one year!" (he was always cracking jokes lol), I asked him what he meant by his remark. He explained how he knows so many kids who moved away for college and ending up coming back after a semester or less because they missed home or couldn't handle it.
He and my auntie also told me that they never been to Hawaii before. And we discussed how they would come when I graduated from college. After dinner, he dropped me off at my family party, as I thanked him and said goodbye I told him that I'm not going to be like those kids that went home, and that I'm going to prove him wrong. And how I will see him in Hawaii at my graduation...those were the my last words I told him...
During Christmas vacation after he passed away, I was home in San Francisco visiting. My family took me to the cemetery to visit him, he is buried a couple feet away from my grandma. As I walked up to his stone, tears where pouring down my face nonstop. Through silent prayer, I told him that I was so sorry that I wasn't at the funeral.
(Before the funeral, I remember telling my mom how I wanted to fly back home for one day just to attend, but my parents said that would be hard since I had work and school, and it was last minute.) This is why I didn't answer my parents texts or calls for the next couple days. I felt so helpless, that I couldn't be there in person, I really wanted to go support and to say a speech...
Since I didn't get to, here is what I've been wanting to say: "Uncle, I want to say thank you for inspiring me. You and auntie would always invited me on road trips, to travel and be adventurous. I remember when you told my sister that we can play checkers on her checkered pattern Vans lol. You were always joking and smiling, you always had me laughing,those moments with you I will always re-play in my head.
You were such a loyal husband to auntie, and a good father to Arje. I loved how when you and Arje would say good-bye, he would give you a kiss on the cheek in public. That is an example of real father/son love. I will miss you forever. Thank you for guiding me during my journey as my angel, whom I talk to from time to time in my dreams and visions. Its been over 2 years since I moved here, I'm half way there...
I can't wait until you cross the stage with me by my side...then we can laugh again about me proving you wrong," Deanna
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